Rude awakenings

Sleep has been a major issue since we got to Leeds.

The cats took it upon themselves to help us out when we first arrived in Leeds and woke us up each night by sticking there paws under the door (and a little bit of their snozzle) and scratching on the wooden floor. I must say it's a beautiful sound at 4 in the morning!






The night before my first day at work they both woke me up at 4 scratching and squarking (Vince does not miaow!), so I got up to spray them with water (a very useful strategy to train cats - I have however been reported to the RSPCA by colleagues for this). As I strolled sleepily into the bathroom, an almighty stink seeped into my nostrils. I shuddered.... I knew that smell - it was cat s**t! One of the little blighters had done it in the toilet mat and then rolled it up! At least they'd got close to the toilet I guess! This was all after we had put 2 cat litters out and also chizelled a cat hole into the cellar (it makes marvellous viewing when they jump from a box to the washing machine and then out the cat hole).














The next night I woke to an ear-piercing scream or so I thought. It was actually foxes fighting/mating (not quite sure which). It is so loud it's unbelievable.

Another thing that added to our sleepless nights was that our beds took weeks to arrive (despite ordering them prior leaving Solihull). We were therefore sentenced to sleeping on a blimming airbed for 3 weeks. Martin had to do this for about 8 weeks! You'd just get to sleep and suddenly you'd wake with a jump as the other person moved an arm and caused an almighty noise! It was luxury having a normal bed again.

Once over the airbed hurdle I thought things would be easier.... but oh no. We have managed to choose a house which is directly under the flight path for Leeds Bradford. You actually have to pause the TV as you can't hear anything for approximately 5 seconds! You can guarantee that if you're nodding off to sleep - a plane will go over. Luckily (is it lucky?) they stop at about 11.30 and start at about 6am.














I always feel particular pressure to sleep on a Sunday night... it's the one night that you just want to have a really good nights sleep. But it never happens! You want to try and repair the damage you have done at the weekend and be all bright and sparkly for Monday morning - as if! Last night I got to sleep immediately (despite an afternoon nap).... but then tragedy struck in the form of the Trolley Dollies (that accompany the plane noise) getting 'off their trolley!' There are 3 air hostesses that live next door to us and they seem to want to party every Wednesday and Sunday night without fail! I have tried coming downstairs, going up to the attic room, putting in cheap earrplugs, wrapping a pillow around my head - nothing works!! I was trying to work out if low pitched girly screeching or deep manly shouting was best! They party all bloody night and were still up when I set off for work! I have since bought some decent earrplugs in fear of attacking them the next time they do it and worked out that if I put the fan on at the same time as using them - it drowns them out! I feel that like for Earl - Karma is getting me back for doing this to my neighbours several hundred times in the past!

A lot to contend with for a nights sleep as you can see!

Festival fun

Myself, Martin and 2 of our good mates all set off on a little adventure to 'The Secret Garden Party' at the end of July. Mishaps were as follows:

1. 1 hour wait in the car park
2. 2 hour wait in the queue (in the scorching sun. Please think of my pasty white skin!)
3. Lost hat
4. Got stung on the lip when a wasp fought me for my Strongbow (which I then rinsed off with Brandy from my friend's hip flask as she advised me to)
5. Lost my entry band (and so was an illegal festival goer)

Had a great time though!

A taste of being me

I spend most of my life entertaining people with stories of the mishaps that have happened to me in the last 24 hours! Several people have suggested to write them down, so following reading my mate's blog it has inspired me to get cracking!

I warned my husband that when he married me - his luck may well change! He couldn't quite believe it - it well and truly did. No longer was he first to get his case off the conveyor belt at the airport, traffic jams became frequent, planes & trains were delayed and he also has to lead a life of mishaps (whenever I am around anyway)!

I have recently started a new job, so was expecting a few things to go wrong. At first everything was hunky dory which was very surprising, but that soon changed....

On my second day the rollercoaster of events started and my life returned to normal! I firstly received the programming for Ellen Doherty's security badge which meant that I could not access any of the wards or offices that I needed to. We informed security who said 'no worries love, we'll sort that out immediately.' That actually meant - we'll cancel of all of your access! This meant that I got locked in a stairwell and had to climb 21 flights of stairs to get back out.

I then decided to go and tackle security again. I was sure they lived on level -2, but actually no! This led to me again getting locked in another stairwell. This time I actually thought I may have to stay there forever! I eventually found a big grey door that looked like I would set off a thousand alarms if I opened it and had to run right around the hospital to get back in! Following this I found that security actually live on level -1. I went back down to them and they again informed me that my pass was done!

20 minutes later I found myself locked out of all the offices again as they had not done anything to my badge! I had to stand there for 20 minutes to get back in! I contacted security again and told them they had not in fact done anything to my pass and through discussion with Mr Security found that they had my name down as 'Woodhouse' not 'Woodford.' Blimming brilliant!

I think it was about then that I realised that on my pass it said 'speech and languageb therapist.'
Excellent- I like to be different! I also look like an evil pixie in my photo as you can see. I finally went home at the end of day 2 and pretty much immediately broke the zip on my new jacket!

The following day I got a new printer, but of course this was broken. I therefore thought I would save things to the shared drive, but of course they hadn't given me access to anything they were supposed to on the computer (they probably gave it to Ellen!). They gave me a superb username - 'Woodfork.' Is that better than my previous one - 'Woodfok'??

At the end of the week, I felt pretty good and the new job was going well. I sauntered up to the car park and then put my credit card in the bit where the parking ticket goes and pushed it right in!! Obviously it got well and truly stuck and so I had to go to the parking office and admit that I was in fact a moron and tell them what I'd done. Luckily he sorted it out. Trying to keep my head high I then set off to my car - oh dear where was my car?! I couldn't remember what level I'd parked on and so had to walk up and down 7 levels to locate my car. My head was no longer held high!